Don't take away my guns!

I saw a post this morning about guns that really got me going. Not because I disagree with the person but because what he was saying makes so much sense! Then I get on Facebook and see this..

And I was inspired to write! I get so frustrated with stupid people who are like "Guns kill people!" No guns don't kill people, the person holding the guns kill people. If we are going to say guns kill people, then spoons are making everyone else fat. Or it's the cars fault.

I read an article a couple days ago about a little girl that shot herself with her daddy's gun. Thankfully she lived but now everyone is like "guns are bad!" or "remove all guns" or "no more guns!" Please tell me you're fucking kidding??? Why should I lose the right to my guns because one dumbass left his gun loaded and sitting out where there were children around??

There are so many things wrong with that! First it's not my fault he was clearly never taught gun safety! If you are going to have a gun you don't leave it loaded with the safety off, and second you don't leave it lying around where your little kid could pick it up and shoot herself!! DUH!!!

I just get so frustrated. In this other post I read this morning the author wrote about how some guy shoved another guy into a subway train or something like that. I don't really remember the whole story, but my point is that the author brought up a good point. We aren't making trains or hands illegal! I decided to post a link to the post I'm talking about! He had so many good points, and I think you should probably just go read it for yourself!

That's the article that I was reading that got me all fired up! I just get so frustrated at ignorant people that think that everyone should lose their rights to have and own guns because a couple of idiots don't know how to use them, or are killing people with them. It doesn't make it easier to kill people.. people are so fucked up in the head they will find a way no matter what. Stop blaming the guns and start blaming the right people!!

Moving..

Five months... that's how much longer I have in this state if I am lucky! I have never been more excited for anything in my life!! I feel terrible because that would mean leaving N behind but I've wanted this for a very long time, and I have always been told not to change my life around for a guy... I mean it will suck, but if he wants to.. once I get settled in and we see how things would work, he is more than welcome to come follow me.. when he is ready. But I would feel so bad, I know for a fact he doesn't want to leave this state.. and Kansas (which is where I am moving to) is like 13 hours away from where we live.. I KNOW that man does NOT want to move 13 hours away from his family. I know because he has told me over and over and over again that he doesn't want to leave.

I won't lie I feel really confused.. I had planned on moving after Spring semester for months now.. and then I met N. And he is sweet, and kind, and generous, and amazing.. and I wasn't supposed to get attached to anyone. I wasn't supposed to meet anyone, I wasn't supposed to fall for him... and now.. now I have to pick between my dream and the man I have fallen for..? Why is this fair???? I've talked to him quite a few times about it and he says that I should go, he says he  knows it's what I want but that he really doesn't want me to go. He says he won't beg me to stay, that it's not fair to me... but part of me wants me to stay for him...???? And I really really don't get that.. I want to move. I want to get out of this state.. I want to leave.. and start over and live a life that I've always wanted to live.. I just don't know what to do?? I wasn't supposed to get attached, and honestly my plan was to not talk to anyone, meet anyone, date anyone or be with anyone... ugh!!! What the heck???

Thankful Day 21

I know I haven't been doing these every day, but I would have to say I don't think I could be more thankful than I am right now! I am sitting in N's room, watching Hancock while he is at work.. I know it soudns so lame, but really I just feel so lucky! I am more blessed than some people, for instance my feet hit the ground this morning, I have a roof over my head, and I have family and friends who love me.. I was sitting here talking to N's roommate and was just thinking how lucky I am!!

Today just feels like the perfect day and nothing can go wrong! Now don't get me wrong, I know that isn't the case, it never works like that, but that's okay! Today I am taking N's little sister R to see the newest Twilight movie, and we are going to go to lunch, and then back to their parents house to hang out until they get home! I am so excited, not to see the movie exactly but that I have been blessed to have a boyfriend whose family actually wants to spend time with me.. granted I couldn't take her if it wasn't for N so I have to make sure to thank him because I don't have enough money to go to lunch and a movie, but that's just one more thing to be thankful for! I know it doesn't seem like much, but I was in a writing mood, and I'm also in a very chipper happy mood!

Just remember: God took time to wake you up this morning, take the time to thank him!

Thanksgiving??

Wow, I haven't written any thing in a long long time.. I just can't seem to get my thoughts in order.. There is so much going on that this will probably be really long and go off in all sorts of different directions.. I'll try to keep it at least sort of understanable, but then again this is my blog...soooo maybe I won't.

Guess I'll get right down to what's on my mind this exact moment and it's Thanksgiving!! Yayy!!! I absolutely LOVE this holiday.. I love everything about it. I love the way people tend to be nicer to each other, and treat everyone else a little bit better. I love the food and cooking the food, let's be honest that's probably the best part. All the food! And my dad taught me how to cook so I get to cook dinner and I love it! So basically yes, in case you were wondering there isn't much I don't like about this holiday! EXCEPT the stupid ass black friday that comes after it! I hate that!!! And every year it creeps up, its earlier and earlier and earlier! This holiday is about giving thanks and being with family and watching football.. but noooo this year I've seen commercials for stores that are starting at 6 am THURSDAY morning!! Are you kidding me?!?! Please, I'm begging you, please tell me that I heard that wrong.. I need to know that this holiday hasn't become more about just shopping and getting material items on sale..? Even though things like that does bother me I am still very excited for Thanksgiving.. I am spending the actual day with N's family, which just makes me the most excited person there can possibly be! These people love me and I love them! They have welcomed me in with open arms and I have never felt more welcome in a family before.. not even my own. I'm really really excited that for once I will actually spend a Thanksgiving Thursday not cooking. I know, I know, what you're thinking.. "but you said you like to cook?!" Yes I know, and that's true, but N is cooking, what can get better than that??? A whole lot of nothing! I'm going to spend bonding time with his momma and sisters while he does all of the work! Now isn't that just great?? I think so! Then we are going down to my mom's house and I'm going to be making dinner on Saturday for my whole family while he gets to sit around and have bonding time with my family! I think they are just going to love him!! Or at least I really hope so! Fingers crossed. Through all this I'll try and forget about everyone just wanting material things for half the price and enjoy my time with family! I'm really trying here.

I lost my train of thought and now I'm just no longer in the mood for writing.. Can't figure out what seems to be wrong with me these days, but at least I got a chance to get out some of my feelings..

Losing Faith In Humanity

So I have a Twitter, no shock there I'm a college student staying up to date on all these social networks! Of course I have a Twitter.. well earlier this morning I was on and a girl had asked if we would all pray for her, she found out she had breast cancer.. so of course everyone that I follow and that follows her was like oh yes! Pray for her, I mean who wouldn't?! This is a serious and scary disease that a lot of people, and even me and my family have suffered from. A lot of people have lost lives and had their life changed completely because of this disease.

The reason I am upset and shocked is because it turned out she only lied about having breast cancer so that she could gain more followers. I'm sure a lot of people on Twitter fake stuff and pretend to be someone they are not, especially people who hide behind "anon" accounts. If you aren't into the whole Twitter world an anon account it someone who is anonymous, they post about their lives and such but no one knows who they really are, and they don't have pictures of themselves up.

So like I said it doesn't surprise me that someone lied, I'm sure a bunch of people do, a couple of months ago a girl faked being in a deadly car accident, and two weeks before that someone faked their brother's suicide. So I'm not shocked that she lied, I'm just upset because breast cancer is such an important issue in my family. I have aunts that have it, I could have it, my sister could have it, my mother could have it. It runs in my family and is a serious issue.. I think this one just hit closer to home, and I wish that people would just take life as it is. Bad shit happens to people all the time, why do you need the attention so much that you need to fake something like this???? It's such a serious topic and it's so wide spread.. why would you joke about it??? I think I'm losing my faith in humanity :(

Differences?! and Ramblings..

So I was talking to N this weekend and it seems like everything I say he is the opposite, I know they say opposites attract but at what point is different just too different??

I know that part of the reason this is bothering me so much is because of the fact that I'm in full blown bitch mode and I'm pushing him away, and another reason is because I'm PMSing (I know TMI lol) but I seriously feel like it's everything I say he has a comment to come back with. I feel like we have been at each others throats all weekend. I hope that this next week and a half that I don't see him I can take a step back and take the couple of deep breaths to get my shit together and stop being like this. I'm not even sure if this is something I should tell him or talk to him about...?? Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it, or maybe I'm doing what I always do and over reacting to the situations.. I need time to just take a step back and breathe. I'm trying.. I really really am.

On another note I found out that I can withdraw from a class that I desperately need to get out of. I didn't realize it was going to be this hard when I started taking this class, and I probably should have taken a computer class before I took this one.. oh the class that I'm talking about is a Information Security class. It's all online and it all has to do with computers and therefore since I know nothing about computers I feel really confused most of the time while I am reading and trying to do my homework. Anyways the deadline to withdraw from classes was November 1st, well by that time I had only had that class once or twice since it started mid semester and I didn't realize how hard it would be. I called and found out that I can indeed withdraw and it won't affect my financial aide or anything else for that matter. I'm extremely excited about this because I'm sure if I couldn't get out of it I would probably fail..

~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~lol~~~~~~ 

Haha wanted to leave you with something funny. That's a person swimming and a shark coming after him.. I'm such a child sometimes.. I know I know grow up! I will one day, for now I'm going to continue to act a little childish and a whole lot adult the rest of the time.

Confused..

N is taking a nap and I decided that now would be a good time to write and get some of my feelings out.. maybe a good time to get my thoughts in order and try to figure out why I feel like I do..

I've noticed that when I start liking someone and getting close to them I start pushing them away, and I'm talking more than just between and someone of the opposite sex, I am talking about any of my friends, I just can't make friends anymore. I know that it's because I'm scared, I'm scared they are going to hurt me, and walk out of my life like everyone else that I know.

Even though I know why I push them away I can't stop myself, and I try so hard but I just keep getting mad at them, over and over and over for no reason what so ever. I caught myself doing it last night with N. I got mad at him for absolutely nothing, and I know he didn't do anything yet I couldn't stop myself from getting mad at him anyways.. I feel terrible, but I just can't stop myself from pushing him away.

I think he's one of the most amazing and supportive people in my life yet I push him away like it's nothing. I know it's because I figure if I push him away then this way I don't get hurt, but it's such a crappy reason to push someone away and I wish more than anything I could stop myself from doing this.. I guess now I'm just rambling so I will stop..