Fear..

Today is Tuesday!! That means it's Two Shoes Tuesday! And the writing prompt for the day is FEAR!

Nothing is scarier than losing, or almost losing, someone you love. That's what fear is to me, I fear that I will lose my family or my friends. One normal summer day that almost happened. This was over a year ago, the summer before I started college.

The day started as a normal day, had the day off of work and it was nice outside. Thought it would be a good idea to go to the beach with my fiance J, and my best friend E. We decided to go to my aunts house because she lives off of a private lake that way we could take my dog.

We packed a lunch and the dog and drove out to the lake, we spent the afternoon laughing and swimming and eating of course! It seemed perfect. It was getting near the end of the day and we were all tired from being in the sun and in the water all day. We had stopped swimming and were throwing the ball off the end of the dock for the dog to go get.

This is where a normal day becomes a day of fear. In the course of maybe a half hour I almost watched my fiance (at the time) almost drown. J threw the ball far into the lake, and my dog didn't see him throw it. I didn't mean to get so mad but I was upset, that was the last good ball we had that my dog actually liked and couldn't chew up. Before I could even think about it the words just came out of my mouth. "Damn it J! Now you lost the ball, I can't believe you. Go get it!" I'm not sure why I was so mad, I didn't need to be, and I have no idea why I told him to go get the ball, he isn't the best swimmer and he was tired and that ball was far! I am a good swimmer, I have taken classes and pretty much grew up in water and I'm not even sure I could have made it out there and back.

J apologized and jumped off the dock to go get the ball, by the time he got to the ball I could tell something was wrong. He kept ducking under water and it was taking longer and longer before he was coming back up. My heart started racing and I was screaming his name. I asked if he was okay and he told me he was.. that had to be a good sign right?? That he could talk?? He wasn't even halfway back and I knew he was going to drown if I didn't save him. I went to jump off the end of the dock and my friend E said, "wait, are you sure you can do this??" With tears in my eyes I told her that if I didn't try he would drown.

I leaped off the dock and swam as fast and as hard as I could to him. I could tell he was struggling when I got to him, even doggy paddling wasn't doing him any good. I took the ball from his hand and threw it towards shore. I told him to float on his back as I started dragging him back towards shore! I called my dog and he swam out to us. I told J to grab the collar and me and my dog pulled him back to shore. By the time I got to shore I could barely move. I just sat on the ground not even all the way out of the water, crying and shaking. I couldn't stop.

At the time this boy had been my life, yes he was a jerk, and yes he hit me and treated me like shit. But he was my life and at the time my future husband. I didn't want him to die. I had never been so scared in my life. Some crazy things have happened to me, but this was the moment when my biggest fear was going to come true if I didn't act swiftly and save him. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe, but fear had overcome me and I needed to do anything possible to not see that happen.